Boza, Food 4 Less and the Turkey Blues
So, a man walks into the bar with some millet, a bicycle and a turkey. Well, okay, he didn’t. But wouldn’t it make a great story? There were plenty like it on Friday night, at the Lawrence Arts Center’s Story Slam.
The first storyteller told about traveling to Eastern Europe, where she and a friend wandered into a boza bar for a glass of what looked like chocolate milk. It turned out to be fermented millet, which looks rich and chocolaty but tastes like pureed canned peas.
Another related how back in college, she and a guy similarly fascinated with the New Kids On The Block hatched a drunken plan to bike to a Food 4 Less and steal an awesome promotional display. The adventure was replete with robbers’ black disguises, falling into a stream while racing across a field and then running off the loading dock while making their escape.
And then there was the man and his turkey. He and his roommates carefully selected the biggest bird they could find, read the directions and commenced defrosting it—for three days in an unheated oven. Upon realizing their mistake, they buried the stinking, blue-tinged carcass in the back yard. There were tales of spice cake made with tomato soup, drinking too much sochu and losing a sister-in-law in a small Japanese village where the police didn’t speak English, eating at a Chinese restaurant in Honduras and the downside of consuming too much carb powder (the upside was placing second at that week’s cross country meet).
The stories were all about food and drink, but, more than that, they embraced the universal adventure of eating and drinking. We all have to do it. Sometimes it’s exciting. Sometimes the outcome is unexpected—either pleasantly so or not. Regardless, sharing their stories was as entertaining as it was enlightening.